


Be My Mistake

by Sweet_Libertea



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018)
Genre: F/M, My First Fanfic, Roger hasn't met Dominique, Smut, just a slew of bad decisions, might make it angsty idk yet, write the crack ships you want to see in the world
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-10-31 17:24:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17853932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweet_Libertea/pseuds/Sweet_Libertea
Summary: A few months after her and Freddie's breakup, Mary is still feeling a little raw about it. So, she turns to a friend.Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor x Lucy Boynton!Mary Austin(Based on the fictional movie versions of the characters)My first fic, hope you give it a chance and enjoy! :)





	1. Cliffs Edge

**Author's Note:**

> -January 1977, a few weeks before the boys leave for tour  
> -At a pub somewhere in London

Mary stared into her drink blankly as she waited at the pub, ill thoughts of Freddie firing like bullets through her mind: Why did I leave? Did he mean any it? I know he did.. He’s never lied to me, has he? Was he ever unfaithful while on tour in America? Is that how he discovered his sexuality? Was I ever enough?

“It’s been months,” she silently chided herself for holding onto these feelings for so long. Her and Freddie had remained in contact even after the separation, a fact that both validated and confused Mary. The thoughts and questions continued to cloud her mind as her emotions began to spiral--

“Mary!” A deep, masculine voice exclaimed, abruptly bringing Mary out of her stupor and causing her head to shoot up. Roger Taylor, in all his blonde glory, waving and making his way over to her from the pub’s entrance.

“Hey Roger!” Mary smiled back. She had been expecting him, as they had made plans to catch up before Queen left for their Day At the Races Tour. She wasn’t going to allow her inner emotional turmoil dampen precious time with a dear friend, and she could manage pushing aside her true feelings for an evening.

“I see you’ve started without me,” Roger smirked and nodded towards the glass in front of Mary.

“I have to prepare, knowing how you get once you get started on a topic,” she replied with a wicked grin.

“Oi! Right where it hurts, Austin,” Roger nudged her playfully with his elbow before ordering a drink.

“Are you excited for the tour in a few weeks? I heard you’re not going to Asia for this one.”

“Yeah, it’s just America and Europe this time around. Love to go back to Japan though. It was absolutely gorgeous last year.”

Mary stared at Roger in wonderment. “I can’t even imagine, I’ve always wanted to visit Japan.”

“Enough about me and the bums I work with,” Roger changed the subject, extracting a brief laugh out of both of them. “How are you? How have things been holding up in the world of Mary Austin?”

Oh no, she thought to herself. Should she spill? How much should she share? She steeled herself for whatever was about to stumble out of her mouth. “I’m...alright. You know, it’s been a little difficult since Freddie but I’m managing. Staying in touch with Freddie and Queen is a good thing, I feel. You boys are wonderful.” She was impressed with her answer, not exactly a lie but not exactly a truth (it’s been more than a little difficult). Roger wasn’t really the “tell all our deepest darkest emotions” type, but Mary knew she could count on him to be an understanding and deeply loyal friend when called upon. And right now what she needed was a distraction. “Other than that all is well! Just work and usual routine.”

Roger replied with a nod and an understanding smile. Then, almost like he read Mary’s mind, said, “Another round?”

“Absolutely.”

#### Some time plus a few drinks later

“Tell me, Rog,” Mary was almost slurring her words now and was slightly squinting at the blonde man next to her, “What’s the deal with you and--and the car?”

Roger let out a boyish giggle. “Nonononono, Mary, LISTen,” he managed to say before Mary burst into laughter, taking him along with her. He was as drunk as she was, and the cloud of doubt in Mary’s head about Freddie had been replaced with a cloud of alcohol and giddiness. Noticing the way Roger’s big blue eyes crinkled when he laughed, Mary saw how handsome he really was. She noticed his large smile, great physique, how he looked at her like she had him hanging on every word. No wonder he was always surrounded by groupies with a girlfriend every other week. Roger Taylor was a rock star, with drum skills and a voice to match, and he knew it. His boyish charm had helped him worm his way into the hearts of many. These thoughts had the potential to be dangerous. Mary wondered what he was thinking. What does he notice about her?

“Roger I think, I think we might be drunk” Mary said through giggles. She was being uncharacteristically giggly, no doubt because of the alcohol. Then again, so was Roger.

“I am Not Fucking drunk!” He said, pointing at her and letting out a snort. Mary cocked her head to the side.

“Really then?! Tell the time.”

“Right, where’s the clock.”

“Shit, Rog, I don’t know!”

More laughter. Looking around, Mary spotted the clock and pointed to it. “There it is. You can tell the time if you’re not fucking drunk.” Roger turned and faced the clock near them on the wall. He squinted, pointed at it, and said loudly “I am NOT Fucking Drunk!”

Mary almost fell off her stool from laughing so hard. She hadn’t laughed this hard in months, and it felt good to be carefree again. If she weren’t drunk she would have noticed that she snorted. If she weren’t drunk she would have noticed how she hadn’t thought about Freddie in hours.

“Right then lovebirds, pub’s bout to close. Time to pay and wrap it up,” The gruff voice of the bartender said from behind the counter. Roger pulled out his wallet and winked at Mary. Ignoring the flutter in her chest, she wiggled her eyebrows up and down amusingly in response. “I guess I owe you now, Rog.”

“Mary Austin, you are now officially in my debt,” he expressed with a flourish before walking away to pay the tab (nearly stumbling over his own feet). Band boys. Roger finished paying, somehow avoiding the chairs and tables of the pub as he sashayed back to Mary. “You take a cab?” He asked.

“Yeah, you?”

“Naaahh, driver. You know, famous bloke and all that.” Another round of giggles came from the pair.

“It’s so late, Roger. Let’s just go outside and see who comes by to pick us up first.”

Grinning, Roger holds out his elbow for Mary to grasp; she takes it enthusiastically and they stumble out of the pub together, all laughs and smiles. They manage to hail a cab and fall over each other getting in, giggling and still quite drunk. “Where to?” Says the driver, sounding rather bored. Mary and Roger start speaking simultaneously before erupting again into laughter. After calming down, Roger asks, “Where to, Mary?”

“We can go to my place, I think it’s closer and the night’s still young!” She responded, feeling like the university student without a care in the world she was not-so long ago.

“Sounds like a plan,” Roger said smiling, looking into her eyes with those characteristic baby blues. “These are dangerous grounds, Mary Austin. That’s your ex-fiance's best friend,” she would have thought to herself if she were sober. Would have.

Opening the door to her apartment and turning on the light with Roger close on her heels, she headed to the liquor cabinet and pulled out her last bottle of white wine. Roger gasped and walked toward the bottle. “My favourite!”

“One more round before calling it quits for the night?” Mary asks mischievously. Now it was Roger’s turn for eyebrow wiggling, causing yet another round of giggles. Mary went to the kitchen to get the wine glasses, feeling Roger’s eyes on her back. She liked that. Why did she like that? She decided she was feeling brave. She walked back with the glasses and corkscrew, eyeing him flirtatiously and only stumbling once. He gave her his best shit-eating grin while placing the bottle on the table. For some reason, Mary couldn’t seem to break eye contact. She didn’t want to break eye contact. Silently, Mary held out the corkscrew and Roger, now serious, took it from her, brushing his larger, rough, calloused hands over her smaller, soft ones. His touch left a tingle on her hand. She blamed it on the alcohol. Almost as soon as the moment began, it ended. Roger turned around to open the bottle and the drunken giggles began again. “What are the chances you have MY favourite wine, of all things?!” Roger asked as the cork made its signature pop.

“Fate? Chance? Maybe I’m secretly a groupie that knows absolutely everything about you! Shhh!” Mary held a finger to her lips. “Don’t tell!”

“Hey! No need to bring up Crystal like that, she was lovely!”

“You mean Cheryl?”

“I-unno,” he shrugged. They began to sip the wine as their conversation continued. They talked about everything and nothing all at once, throwing around incredulous ideas and laughing like teenagers. With each sip the line of propriety, and consequently sensibility, faded more and more. Talking turned to flirting, and the way Roger hung on to her every word sent a warmth spreading in her belly. Mary hadn’t felt this wicked in her life.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re an incredibly beautiful man, Roger Taylor?” Mary suddenly blurted out. At this point she didn’t care about consequences. Mary was here now, and Roger was right by her side. He distracted her from the hurt in her heart. Roger smiled and narrowed his eyes slightly at her.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re an incredibly beautiful woman, Mary Austin?” Mary smiled slyly and looked downward. She guessed her thoughts at the pub weren’t completely one-sided. She then raised her eyes to meet Roger’s, which were still trained on her face. After a few moments of intense silence, Mary placed her hand on his from across the table and whispered, “My room is down the hall.” Completely in sync, they rose from their chairs and moved towards each other like two magnets. Breathing heavily, their faces inched closer and closer together, like an avalanche waiting for a trigger. They come even closer, lips now lightly brushing. They stay in this moment of suspension for a few agonizing seconds until Mary gives in to her lust and presses her lips against his. Almost instantly, the drummer returns the kiss with a hungry passion she hadn’t experienced in a very long while. She brings her right hand to his cheek as they deepen the kiss while he puts his own hand in the swell of her back. They break apart for just a moment to look at each other through heavy-lidded eyes, Mary’s hand still on Roger’s cheek. Her thumb lightly brushed down his lip. “I have extra bed space, in case you need a place to crash.. If you want?” She whispers breathily, almost soundlessly. Roger brushed his lips against her own and whispered in reply, “It’d be impractical for me to go home this late, don’t you think?”

“Quite impractical.”

They kiss again, this time hungrier than the last, moving together towards Mary’s room. Roger places his hands under the curve of her ass, and she jumps up and wraps her legs around his waist in response, her dress bunching around her thighs. They stumble and knock into things, but they just laugh into the kisses as they make their way. They find Mary’s bed, and Roger lays her down. He trails kisses down her jawline and neck, reaching her chest. He stands up for a moment to remove his shirt and pants, movements almost frantic. Seeing Roger’s fit form towering over her, wanting her as much as she wanted him, made the warmth that spread over Mary’s lower belly earlier move towards her pubic area. That was definitely not from the alcohol. Sitting up, Mary quickly removed the dress from her chest area, leaving her breasts exposed and heaving. Looking at each other hungrily, Roger goes back in for a kiss, his hands roaming along Mary’s torso. His hands reach where her dress is pooled around her waist. “Want me to take this off you?” He whispers while kissing her neck.

“Yes, Roger. Oh, God yes.”

Mary, now completely naked, shifted farther back onto the bed to give Roger room to join her. He positioned himself on top of her, trailing his tongue and kisses down her chest and around her breasts. She could feel her pussy become wet with every touch, every kiss. She looked down onto the drummer, now focused on her stomach. One of his hands became entwined with hers while the other roamed her body. At this point, Mary was aching with desire, and bucked her hips as Roger’s mouth traveled down her pubic bone towards her vagina.

“Rog, please,” Mary breathed. He looked up at her and smirked. Untangling his hand from hers, Roger suddenly grabbed her thighs and pulled her towards himself. This excited Mary more than she’d admit. He put a warm kiss on her inner thigh before trailing his lips over her labia, Mary’s breath hitching when he brushed past her clit. He dove in, stroking his tongue up and down her pussy, occasionally circling her clit. As he savored her sweet taste, Mary was oblivious to the world. “Oh fuck, Roger,” she would moan occasionally while grinding on his tongue. This rhythm continued until she got close to the edge, when Roger suddenly stopped. Mary gave a slight groan in protest; she was dripping wet and moments away from satisfaction. Roger stood up, moving towards his pants on the floor to take a condom out of the pocket. Mary watched him take off his underwear and move back towards her. Roger was unsurprisingly well-endowed, and the thought of him inside her made Mary more frantic with desire. She sat up as he moved towards her, a wicked gleam in both their eyes. They put the condom on then he kissed her deeply, his mouth still tasting of her. “Is this alright?” Roger asked. Mary nodded her head and smiled into his mouth, muttering a yes.

“However,” she said, breaking the kiss and putting an index finger on his collarbone, “Let’s mix things up.” Mary took Roger by the shoulder and maneuvered so that now he was the one laying on the bed, with her straddling his hips. She leaned forward for another kiss, then sat up and slowly lowered herself onto him. He grasped her hips as they found a rhythm. Grinding on his dick, Mary could see Roger go wild in full view, all because of her. She was powerful, in control. She brought a hand to her clitoris as she kept grinding and gauging Roger’s face. She could tell he was getting close; so was she. She knew she had him wrapped around her finger when all Roger could manage was a breathy “fuck, Mary.” Their breathing grew heavier as they reached a climax: Mary first, her orgasm rocking through her body like a thousand fireworks going off. Roger finished a few seconds later, letting out a groan of pleasure. Sex with Freddie was amazing, but Mary had never experienced anything like this before. Mary dismounted Roger, leaning forward to kiss him. Breaking the kiss, their faces still inches apart, they began to laugh. It was a light, “look where we are now” kind of laugh. They could tell they were sobering up, but didn’t care enough to feel guilty just yet. Mary pressed her forehead against Roger’s chest in a weak attempt to muffle her laughter; he took her in his arms in an all-enveloping hug. “I’d say you’re no longer in my debt,” said Roger, causing another round of giddy laughter. They laid in this position for a while, just holding each other, seemingly oblivious to what they had just done. If they were in love or completely sober, they would make sure to cherish this moment. If. Eventually the laughter turned into silence as they fell asleep.

#### 10:30 the next morning - the aftermath

Mary suddenly came to. With newfound consciousness came a massive headache. “Oh my god,” she groaned quietly, pressing her palms to her eyes, “I need to pee.” Totally missing the sleeping form laying next to her, she got up groggily and started down the hall towards the loo. Her nakedness came as no surprise to her, as she often slept without clothes since meeting Freddie. After doing her business, Mary made her way to the sink. She washed her hands and looked into the mirror, studying her reflection. Her lips were slightly swollen, and Mary felt incredibly vulnerable and sensitive under the gaze of her own judgment. Last night’s events were a blur. She remembered meeting Roger and getting drunk with him, but anything after getting back to her apartment was a fog. She couldn’t seem to piece together how she had gotten naked, or how her body felt slightly raw - in a good way. She grabbed a conveniently-placed blue silk robe that was hanging on the door and slipped it on, cinching the matching belt around her waist. Mary rinsed her face with cool, clear water from the sink, relishing the way the chill brought her back to life. She pat herself dry and began to rummage through her medicine cabinet, looking for anything to help with her hangover.

Walking out of the bathroom, Mary’s usual internal dialogue greeted her like an old friend, “I think I’ll make coffee.. I need it after this headache. What to do, though? My head hurts too much to watch the telly. I should stop by my room to see if I forgot anything.” Mary made her way back to her bedroom, yawning. Opening the door, her eyes immediately focused to the sleeping figure in her bed. Mary’s stomach dropped. Oh god, she thought. Who was this man? She didn’t remember meeting anyone else last night..It couldn’t be-- she would never.. Did he even come back to her apartment with her? Mary tiptoed silently towards the mysterious lump underneath her blankets. As she peered over to try to see any identifying features, a mop of blonde hair popped up from under the covers, his handsome face crinkled and squinting from suddenly rousing. “Hmm? Whus going on?” Roger asked sleepily as he slowly came to. Mary just stared at him wide-eyed, brain blank of thoughts and words. She backed away slowly. How could either of them ever face Freddie again? The love of Freddie’s life spending the night with his best friend? The thought of it would make most people scoff, but that’s the tragedy of reality. Mary and Roger kept staring at each other in wide-eyed silence for the next minute, both of them piecing together what had happened the night before.

“Are you..?” Mary gestured to the rest of Roger’s body. He looked under the covers, his head then shooting up in shock to focus back on Mary. The drummer nodded solemnly.

“Did we..?” She asked again quietly. A brief glance to the used condom by the bed confirmed their suspicions.

“I think so.”

A few more moments of intense silence. Mary decided to take a chance. “Coffee?” she inquired. She gauged his reaction. Would he leave? She could see realization settle on his face as to what they had done. Denial, bargaining, acceptance. He breathed a heavy sigh and nodded his head. “Yeah, that’d be great.”

“I’ll give you some privacy.”

Mary moved numbly towards the kitchen. She wasn’t sure how she felt. She had been single for months, she had the liberty to sleep with whomever she pleased. ..Did she? Freddie had been so good to her, and it was clear he still loved her very deeply. They were still so interconnected that this felt like a betrayal. As the memory of last night grew clearer in Mary’s mind, the lack of regret hit her hardest. Last night was the most fun she’d had in so long. The turmoil that was in her heart before Roger fatefully appeared at the pub had been replaced entirely, this somehow worse. Turning on the coffee machine, Mary’s thoughts shifted to Roger. Most of her confusion was entirely about the blonde drummer. Would she be as conflicted about the situation had Roger not been so connected to Freddie? Almost certainly not. God, she would give anything to read Roger’s mind right now. How did he feel? Was he ashamed? Guilty? Did he think about Freddie? These questions plagued Mary’s thoughts as she stared blankly at the hissing coffee machine, waiting for Roger to round the corner any minute.

“Hey,” Mary heard a sheepish male voice from behind her. Her breath hitched at the sound of it. Oh, how she loved it when he talked. Vocal chords smooth as silk, he could be crass and loud as well as soft and gentle. Not to mention his raspy singing was enough to drive anyone wild. What was she thinking?! This is Freddie’s best friend she was talking about! This was Freddie’s best friend that she had just spent the night with. Mary quietly chided herself for these thoughts and turned around to face Roger. Now fully clothed, the drummer looked slightly disheveled, albeit very endearing. He looked at Mary like a lost dog, and she felt for him. She realized they were in the same boat, and had to deal with the consequences of their actions together. She poured them both a cup of coffee. Handing Roger the mug with a small smile, they both went to sit at the kitchen table. The almost-empty bottle of wine and its glasses sat there, unmoved, serving as a grim reminder of last night’s indiscretion. Mary quickly cleared the table before taking a seat across Roger. They both breathed a sigh, awkwardly avoiding each other’s eyes for a few moments while sipping their coffee. The topic of Freddie felt to Mary like the elephant in the room, and the need to clear the air overcame her feelings of awkwardness.

“I don’t regret it,” Mary exclaimed suddenly. Roger’s eyes shot up to meet hers at the sudden admission. “I’m not going to pretend that I hated last night. It’s the most alive I’ve felt in months. But there will be consequences whether or not we tell Freddie, Roger.” The drummer’s eyes immediately fell again at the mention of his best friend. Mary felt relieved that she wasn’t alone in her worry.

“I would have rather you yelled and told me you wanted to throw me out the bloody window,” Roger replied with a light chuckle, meeting her eyes yet again. This took Mary by surprise and her heart dropped. What did he mean? But Roger continued, “Last night was great, Mary. But we were drunk. We can’t blame ourselves. Usually in situations like this, we’d go our separate ways and never speak again. But..things have changed, and we can’t exactly avoid each other.”

“Do you want us to avoid each other?”

Roger took a drink from the coffee mug. “No,” he admitted.

“Me either.”

Mary let out a mirthless chuckle while rubbing her eye with her hand. “You’re right though, Roger. It’d be easy to scream at each other and direct the blame. It’d be **so** easy to just laugh it off, claiming we don’t remember anything because of the alcohol but--”

“But we can’t do that, can we?”

Mary shook her head in response. After a moment of unwavering eye contact, Mary broke the palpable silence with barely a whisper: “What do you remember?”

“Everything,” Roger’s breathy reply sent a shockwave of emotion through Mary’s body. “It was foggy at first, but after seeing you, and all this,” he gestured around, “it came around.”

“Do you regret it?”

“...No.”

Something had changed in Mary since the pub and the bedroom last night. The strikingly handsome man before her was no longer just Roger Taylor, Queen’s drummer and her and Freddie’s mutual friend. This was Roger, a man she shared such an intimate experience with. They might have been drunk, but the desire remained. They had bonded, and there was no denying things would be different between them for a very long time to come. The intense, dark look Roger gave her clued Mary into the fact he felt the same.

“It seems we’re in the same predicament,” Mary said with a sad smile.

“It seems we are indeed, Mary.”

Mary didn’t love Roger. Love didn’t even cross her mind as they studied each other. No, this was a purely selfish, raw emotion. It was dangerous and turbulent. The daily routine she had perfected since leaving Freddie had been shattered the moment she kissed the blonde drummer last night. It scared her how one drunken night could change her world so drastically. But Roger, here in front of her, was enough for now.


	2. The Ups and Downs of Indecision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary and Roger are conflicted about where they stand since last night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if this wasn't purely self-indulgent before hooooo boy  
> no smut this chapter

~Mary’s apartment, very soon after the events of Chapter 1

Mary rose quietly from her chair, taking both her and Roger’s empty mugs to the sink. When she returned, Roger was standing. “I should go.. Queen’s supposed to rehearse for tour, and I need to get ready..um..for that,” he said rather awkwardly. Mary nodded her head in reply. Of course he should leave, they had nothing left to say to each other. So why was there a nagging voice in her head wanting him to stay?

“What will you do when you see Freddie?” Mary asked, voicing the question neither of them wanted to confront.

“I don’t know, Mary.. I honestly don’t. But, really, a part of me doesn’t see where Fred comes into play. You’ve been broken up for, what, a few months now? You’re at liberty to move on to whomever you please. It’s not like you’re being unfaithful.”

“I know full well my ability to move on! But with  **_you_ ** ?! We both know why this would kill him. He loves you so much, Roger.” 

“I’m not going to pretend nothing happened.”

“I’m not asking you to! I just...I mean i-um,” Mary let out an exasperated sigh. It was so hard to find words to convey how she was feeling when she herself didn’t know how to feel. “I’m at a loss on what to do! If we don’t tell Freddie we’ll have to live with this..  **_lie_ ** hanging over our heads until he eventually discovers, then he’ll never forgive us. But if we tell him?! I don’t know if he’d recover.”

“You don’t belong to him!”

“I know I don’t! But it’s not that simple!” Things were starting to get heated.

“Why are you being so indecisive?! First you say you don’t regret it and we clear the air - everything’s great! Now here you are, fretting about whether I’ll tell Freddie about our little  _ indiscretion _ .” Roger accented the last word with a sneer. “You think I’m not worried about how this will affect him?! It kills me to think about hurting him; you’re NOT the only one who cares! Do you do this with all your boyfriends?!” Mary was well aware of Roger’s explosive temper, and took note of how well he had it under control. No tables were being flipped, and her coffee machine was still intact, at least.

“Fuck you, Roger. You know I would  **not** have cared this much if you were a stranger off the street! Someone Freddie  **DIDN’T** know! If we weren’t friends before.. we’d still be in that bedroom!” Mary was shocked. Did she really just say that? She wanted to scream and tell him how much she wanted him. “Ever since last night I can’t- I can’t look at you the same! No matter how hard I try I just can’t!” 

They stood now, chest-to-chest. They had subconsciously moved closer as they argued, and Mary had only noticed now as she felt heat radiating between their bodies. They were both breathing harder now. “I-,” she barely whispered, not knowing what to say. Roger immediately cut her off with a kiss, deep and consuming. It was hungry and passionate, with a softness one had to experience to know. Mary’s knees almost went out from under her. He caressed her neck with his hand as their kiss deepened. In that moment, their souls were intertwined; they understood each other perfectly. Then, just like that, it ended. Roger quickly pulled away from Mary, backing away like she was a hot stove he had tried to touch. Mary stood, mouth slightly agape, and brought a finger to her lips.

“I’m sorry, I won’t..I won’t tell him,” Roger quickly muttered before making a beeline for the door. Mary could hear him, but was too in shock from what just happened to pay any attention to his movements. Continuing to stare straight ahead, tears started falling down her face. What the hell just happened? Not only had he kissed her, but she kissed him back. Some things had been made clear: He was just as conflicted as she was, and he wanted a repeat of last night as much as she did.

Closing the door which Roger had left open when he rushed out, Mary put her back against the frame and sunk down onto the floor. Her heart felt so heavy, and she was at a loss about the kiss. Deep down, she wanted Roger back in her bed, kissing her like he just had. He was, without a doubt, the best mistake she’d ever made. Together they were dynamic and passionate. But god, at what cost? She hated herself for wanting him. The sound of a ringing phone fished her out of her thoughts. Wiping the tears from her cheeks, Mary quickly collected herself and stood up, making her way towards the noise.

“Hello?” She began into the receiving end of the phone.

“Mary, darling! How are you this beautiful morning?” Freddie. Mary’s heart dropped and tears came to her eyes once more.

“Freddie! I’m..really good, thanks. How-how are you?” She narrowly avoided a voice crack and tried to sound as chipper as possible. Every word exchanged was an added weight to her conscience.

“Absolutely wonderful. Listen, I know today’s your day off and I would be absolutely crushed if you didn’t come to the studio with me and the boys. I’m sure everyone would love to see you, and Chrissie and Veronica need the company.”

Mary could hear him quietly talk to his cats as she thought for a moment.  The last thing she wanted to do was be in the same room with both of these men, let alone while pretending nothing happened and everything was fine. On the other hand, she could keep an eye on Roger to make sure he didn’t do anything brash. She didn’t know what went on inside the drummer’s head; he seemed sincere at her flat, but she knew how men could be. Also, when Freddie is resolute about something it’s hard to change his mind. This was going to be painful.

“Yeah Freddie, sounds great, what time?” 

“Around one o’clock. Same place as usual - see you then, darling! Love and kisses.”

“Love you too, Freddie.”

Hanging up, Mary put her fingers to her temples. Why this? Why them? Why now? She needed a shower.

She turned on the shower head and let steam fill the bathroom. Stepping in, the hot water enveloping her body like the hug Roger gave her after they slept together.  _ What the hell was I thinking, admitting I still wanted him. I’m an absolute idiot. _ Mary’s thoughts continued to wander as she washed herself. Occasionally she would catch herself yearning for Roger to join her under the water. Mary pushed these thoughts away as she finished her shower. Grabbing a nearby towel, she quickly wiped herself down before wrapping it around herself. She took a smaller towel and wrapped it around her damp hair. Exiting the bathroom, she opened the bedroom door to find the place still somewhat of a mess. Blankets bunched together, last night’s dress now a wrinkled pile on the floor. It still smelled like them, and that most of all caused the memory of last night to flood back. Mary let out a resigned sigh and opened the window a crack. At least Roger put the condom in the bin. Going over to the wardrobe, Mary picked out a nice pair of bell-bottoms and a sweater. Satisfied with her selection, she made her way back to the bathroom to finish her routine.

 

#### An hour later, at the studio

Mary steeled herself as she opened the studio doors. Roger told her before he rushed out that he wouldn’t tell Freddie, but she didn’t know whether or not to trust him. And the kiss this morning. A kiss both damning and clarifying. They both said they didn’t want to avoid each other, but how could she face him now? Interacting with him in the presence of others seemed like an impossible feat as she walked towards the voices, steps heavy. Her stomach was flipping over and over and her peripheral vision became fuzzy. Was she starting to sweat? The short walk to the recording area felt like miles.

“Hello Mary! Right on time,” a friendly female voice brought Mary back to reality. Chrissie May. Thank god, another woman. Her comforting presence was always welcome, especially since last night. Mary gave her a warm smile and hug in greeting. “Hello Chrissie, how’ve you been?”

“Fine, thanks.”

Mary and Chrissie walked side-by-side into the main area of the studio, where everyone was gathered. The bustle of the establishment was a stark contrast to the silence of her apartment, and only now did Mary take note of it. She had always been observant, but today that trait had only been amplified.

“Ah, Mary! So good of you to come!” Freddie came towards her, opening his arms for a hug. He was always a master at making someone feel like they were the most important person in the world at that moment. He truly lived for others, that was part of why she fell for him all those years ago. “Everyone, Mary’s here!”

Brian and John, talking together in the corner over a piece of sheet music, turned and waved. “Hey Mary! Good of you to come!” Brian shouted from across the room.

“Hello,” said Deacy, slightly less quiet than usual. Mary waved and gave them a sweet smile, “Hello boys!”

Roger’s head, barely visible from his spot behind the drumset, shot up at the mention of her name. They locked eyes from across the room for an intense moment. In that one look, time slowed to a halt, everyone else in the room disapparated, and they were back at the kitchen table. Chest-to-chest. Completely alone. 

The moment ended almost as soon as it began as their attentions were torn apart from each other, Veronica greeting Mary with a hug and Deacy asking Roger something about the tour, coincidentally. Mary felt winded from the brief exchange but no one could have been able to tell, a solid poker face being one thing she had perfected. She moved towards the couch where Chrissie and Veronica sat, chatting. The boys were about to go through one of the sets for the concerts in America, just to work out some of the final kinks. Mary sat and joined the two other women in conversation, waiting for Queen to start playing. Her spot on the couch gave her full view of the band’s members, but placed her right in the drummer’s line of sight. Still, she didn’t move. _Do you want us to avoid each other? No._ The thought, along with the kiss this morning, invaded Mary’s mind as the band began to play. Typically when she watched Queen rehearsals, her focus would jump around each of the boys but usually rest and stay on Freddie. His energetic strut was part of Queen’s appeal, after all. Not this time, though. All her focus stayed on the blonde drummer. She couldn’t help it. Every time she tried to shift her focus to Freddie or Brian, her eyes would seem to move on their own to Roger. Meanwhile, Roger kept his eyes on her as he hit the drums perfectly. Even when he turned to give backup vocals, the criminally underused rasp of his voice harmonizing with Freddie, his focus returned to her once he faced forward. Mary’d be lying if she said this wasn’t incredibly arousing. Roger was most attractive when playing the drums, and the fact he could stay focused on her without missing a beat or lyric sent a shiver down her spine. They finished the set absolutely beautifully in Mary’s opinion, but she knew each of them would nitpick and find something they wanted to change.

Unhappy with the pacing of one of Brian’s riffs, Freddie called a break. Roger, who had broken eye contact with Mary since the set ended, continued to make himself busy.  _ I thought today would be painful, but this isn’t completely awful,  _ Mary thought, still cringing internally at the whole situation. 

“Mary! Come over here, you have to see this!” Freddie, finished arguing with Brian, waved her over to the table where he was standing. She’d never been so thankful for Freddie in her entire life. A chance to shift her focus--

“Roger! Come show Mary your idea,” Freddie spoke again, beckoning the drummer towards himself and now Mary, who stood next to him. “You’ll find this hilarious, darling,” he said, turning his head slightly towards her. 

_ Shit _ .

“I don’t see what’s so funny about it, Fred. It’s a fucking good idea!” Roger exclaimed, gesturing to the papers on the table in front of them.

“I think it’s a marvelous idea, Rog. Perfectly in character. But show Mary!”

Roger picked up two sheets of paper, both with drawings of a drum set on them. One of the drawings had the Queen logo on the front bass drum. The other had Roger’s face. “So basically,” Roger began, “I’m always in the back, hidden by my drums. No one knows what I look like. It’s only fair I get my face out there too!”

Mary looked at the drawing, then at Roger, then back at the drawing. A smile spread across her face as she began to laugh, “I think it’s absolutely outrageous,” She took the drawing of Roger’s face drum to examine it closely. “I love it!”

Roger let out a grin as he fell victim to Mary’s infectious smile. “You really think so?” He asked, like an excited child seeking approval.

“Absolutely! You’re far too handsome to stay hidden back there all the time,” Mary said coyly, still smiling but now looking at him. Mary wanted to say  _ I’m not angry at you. I’m not angry about the kiss; come back and do it again.  _ But all she could do was smile. 

Roger gave her a light, breathy laugh, looking relieved. _Maybe_ _not avoiding each other isn’t as bad as it seems,_ Mary thought. “Mary once told me we should all take more risks,” Freddie remarked, putting his hands on his hips. Normally, a statement like that would send a dull ache to Mary’s heart. Today, however, the memory brought only a light feeling of fondness as she continued to look at the blonde drummer in front of her. “We should,” Mary said quietly, handing the paper back to Roger while placing a hand lightly on his arm. She could swear she heard him take a small, sharp breath at her touch. They lingered there for just a moment before Mary turned back to face Freddie, who was keenly eyeing the pair.

“Well,” Mary stated, taking a step back, “I don’t want to keep you boys, and I need to run by the grocer’s before they close.” She didn’t, but it was a good enough excuse to leave before she said or did something foolish.

“Will I-,” Roger began to ask before quickly coughing into his fist, “Sorry. Will  _ we _ get to see you again before the tour?” 

_ Good save, _ Mary thought sarcastically as she raised an eyebrow.

“What a ridiculous question, darling, the tour’s not for at least a week. Of course we’ll see Mary,” Freddie chimed in. Mary’s smile turned sly.

“I guess we’ll see,” she shrugged.

Mary turned and started toward the coat rack, heart pounding. She couldn’t help but smile giddily to herself, head down so no one could see the ridiculous expression on her face. Getting her emotions under control, Mary grabbed her coat and turned to wave goodbye to everyone. She received a few friendly “Glad you could come, Mary,”-s and “Have a good rest of your day,”-s as she walked out of the main doors of the studio back into the hallway. It was a much shorter hallway than the one she had come through earlier in the day, which struck her as odd, but the doors led to the same place, and she stepped out into the January cold. She stood on the studio steps for a little while, looking around at the city in front of her.  _ I don’t NEED to go to the grocer’s.. But I did tell them I was going...so I might as well… _ Mary shrugged and hailed a cab.

 

#### An hour later

 

Mary walked into the warmth of her flat with a sigh, grocery bags in hand. The encounters she’d had with Roger since this morning occupied her mind, and she still wasn’t entirely sure what all she had bought. Bringing the bags to the kitchen, Mary resolved to do something to take her mind off the blonde drummer. She couldn’t keep on with all this confusion, the constant emotional rollercoaster. Frowning at some crumbs on the kitchen floor, Mary concocted her plans for the rest of the day.  _ Get into something comfortable then put on a record.. No. Music THEN comfortable, then I’ll tidy up the flat.  _ Nodding her head, Mary abandoned the bags as she made her way to the living room. She picked out a random record from her selection: ABBA’s most recent album Arrival. She studied the cover slip for a few seconds, then put it on. As the first chords of the first song began to fill her apartment, Mary made her way to her bedroom. Humming, she stripped off her sweater and bell bottoms, replacing them with an oversized shirt she had stolen from her dad when she was eighteen, and her underwear. She pulled her hair into a loose ponytail. The thought of staying in tonight was bliss for Mary, and she was excited to remain in this state of comfort for the rest of the evening.

She half-danced back down the hallway, singing along quietly as she moved back towards the kitchen. “When I kissed the teeeeaacchherr,” she ended the song as she put the groceries away. When Dancing Queen began, Mary smiled as she put a small container of fruit in the refrigerator.  _ They wrote this for Deacy, without a doubt.  _ She got caught up in the melody, and abandoned her chores to sway to the beat for a few moments, nothing else in her mind. Moving along, she grabbed a broom and swept the kitchen tile, bopping along to the melodies of the album. She continued this method through her living room, occasionally using a duster as a microphone. 

Well into the B-side of the record, she went to extract the vacuum cleaner from her utility closet, but a sudden knock stopped her in her tracks. She turned and started towards the door, forgetting entirely how she was dressed. She had also forgotten that the music had the ability to be turned off, as it had melted in with her surroundings as she made herself busy.

“Hi! Can I hel-,” she began brightly as she briskly swung the door open, but stopped as she stood face-to-face with Roger. “-p you?” she ended in a wide-eyed whisper. 

Mary became hyper-aware of everything. She suddenly noticed her partial state of undress. She noticed the volume of the disco album, the synth beats louder than a jet engine behind her as she continued to stare at the blonde drummer. Her face must have been flushed as she held up a duster. Roger’s eyes were filled with desire and hope. The warmth that pooled in her belly that drunken night with him returned. 

“Dancing Queen is about Deacy, isn’t it?” He breathed out, cocking his head toward the record player and giving her a small smirk.

“Uh-huh,” Mary nodded. They continued to stare at each other for a few seconds. Then, like she was no longer in control of her body, she stepped forward, placing a hand on the nape of his neck, bringing him into a crushing kiss. Roger placed a hand on her cheek, returning her kiss with the same hunger as this morning. Mary took Roger by the forearm and pulled him into the flat. Roger pushed forward, breaking from Mary’s grasp only to close the door behind them, quickly returning to her embrace.

  
  



End file.
